No baby.
Of course, that’s a good thing, because I am only 35 weeks and 4 days today. It would be best if she gestated a wee bit longer at least. And 36 weeks is the magic cutoff date for having her at the birth center instead of the hospital, which is our preference.
But the last two days have been exhausting, after being told my the doctor and midwife that we would have a baby by 2 am last night.
The story:
As I have mentioned, I’ve had really strong “practice contractions” all thru this pregnancy. This is very different than my previous pregnancies, where I had none of these. A few times over the past nine months, I’ve gone over to see the midwife to be checked out and make sure the contractions were still just warm-up ones and not the real thing. I’ve had a prescription for a medication to slow contractions on hand for a few months (prescribed by midwife) to try if the contractions pick up. She’s told me that if the medication didn’t change the contractions, it would be likely I was in real labor and to come on in. I’ve only used it twice, and both times it made the contractions stop and I went on my merry way.
So I felt sort of spacey and weird and “flu ish” Wednesday night before I went to bed. I thought I might be coming down with something. Thursday morning, I woke up and immediately noticed I was having an awful lot of these practice contractions. I went to work. By mid morning, the spaced-out feeling had intensified, and the contractions were more regular and strong than any I had had so far. So I took the terbutaline, which I had in my bag at work.
THis didn’t make any change in the contractions, so I called my midwife, who said to come over and be checked out. By this time, I was feeling like I had to breathe thru the contractions, although I wasn’t in any great distress or anything. But they were intense enough at their peak for me to feel like I should ask a friend from work to drive me over there. So she did.
I got to the birth center and my midiwfe said she’d like to monitor my contractions and the baby’s heartbeat for a few minutes. She did, and it was clear I was having good, strong contractions every three minutes or so. I was now feeling that I needed to get in different positions during the contractions and really concentrate when I was having one. Jon showed up and began helping me handle my anxiety that the baby might be coming too early.
Since I am not yet at the magic 36 weeks, my midiwfe tried to slow the contractions. She gave me three shots of brethine over a few hours, plus started an IV of fluids to see if I was dehydrated (I was not). They didn’t stop, so she called their back up doctor (which they have to do if a client is under 36 weeks). He told her to have me go over to St. Mary’s.
She told me that based on the strength of the contractions, she really felt that I was in active labor and that we woul dlikely have the baby within the next 12-18 hours. She checked me and I was beginning to efface/dilate, but just slightly. The baby was head down, so that was good. She sent us on our way to St. Mary’s.
We got to St. Mary’s and the contractions were still good and regular. I had two in the car, which wasn’t too pleasant, but all in all, I felt okay. Just anxious about her being early. They got me settled into a room, and decided to check my dilation. But when she did, the nurse said she couldn’t feel the baby’s head. So they wheeled a portable ultrasound machine in and took a quick look.
She had flipped to breech position again.
So now I was starting to feel pretty anxious. I was having good, regular contractions at 35 weeks and the baby was breech again (we think she literally flipped over in the car ride over). My favorote OB was there, and he said he recommended trying to do a “version” where they manually flipped her, and that it would be best if I had an epidural for that because A.) it would make her much easier to turn and B.)if she didn’t turn and I kept contracting, I would need a c-section, like, that day, so then I would already have the thing in place.
About that time, my midwife showed up from the birth center, and she agreed with this plan.
So I reluctantly agreed. I had a TERRIBLE experience with an epidural in my last birth, nine years ago, and I had really hoped to avoid one. But I gave the okay, and the anesthesiologist came in and gave me one. It was wildly uncomfortable, and I was shaking (from fear and anxiety) and contracting, but he got it in and 10 mins later, I was no longer feeling the contractions at all, and Dr. B. was ready to do the version.
Now THAT was a strange thing! Using baby oil to massage my belly, and watching himself on ultrasound, he pushed and massaged the baby from the outside of my tummy until she was once again head down. She was extremely cooperative and it was all over in under two minutes.
At that point, he said he really thought that if she were going to be born that night, which he anticipated, we needed to go on and get her out so we could prevent her from flipping back over. Although I could no longer feel them, I was still contracting regularly on the monitor, so doctor and midwife predicted a baby by morning. The little baby bed was wheeled into the room. I started to get my head around the fact that she really was going to be born a few weeks early - THAT NIGHT.
My sister and Jon started letting family know the baby was on her way. My mother started driving up from Nashville to be here for the birth. We called the children on their vacation with the grandparents to let them know the exciting news that their baby sister was on her way. Jon called my boss, who is also a good friend, to let him know we expected a baby by sunrise.
For the rest of the night, I was in good, active labor. They turned the epidural down a little so I could feel it more. Every three hours they checked my progress and I was not progressing at all. I was getting tired (had not eaten or drunk since morning and wasn’t allowed to once I got epidural). I was very anxious about the well being of the baby, since she was early, but everyone reassured me that she was just fine, and would be just fine at that stage. Every time they checked me with no progress AT ALL, I became more anxious and tired. They added pitocin to the mix to try to make my contractions more productive (they sure FELT productive!), and continued to tell me we would have a baby by morning.
At one point, they thought she had flipped to breech again, and did another ultrasound. She was still head down, but just curled to the side and floating high - not engaged. They turned the pitocin up. Now I was definitely feeling the contractions even with the epidural. They checked me again. ZERO progress.
I was unable to sleep all night due to anxiety, discomfort and being in the hospital. My sister and Jon were wonderful at keeping me calm. My mother stayed some of the night and then left to get some sleep.
Morning came. No baby. No progress. Exhausting contractions. Many tubes and wires plugged into my body. At daylight, I asked them to turn the meds off to see what would happen. I kept contracting and could now feel it quite acutely, but I was also exhausted and discouraged. I tried the rocking chair. I tried the birthing ball. No progress.
Midday, my midwife gave us a couple of options. She said we could amp up the meds for a few hours and see what would happen. We could add another drug (a prostglandin gel) to the mix. Or, she said, I could get some morphine to make me sleep and go home to sleep and see if that slowed things down. I hadn’t slept or eaten in more than 24 hours.
Jon and I knew that if we went the drug route, we were on the fast track to a c-section. And as frustrated and disappointed and a little embarrassed (everyone at work, plus friends and family had been told we were at the hospital HAVING THE BABY) as I was, I knew my body wasn’t progresssing, even with the contractions, because Charlotte just isn’t ready to be born.
We only live three blocks from the hospital, so the midwife said we could come back quickly if things seemed to change. She suspected the morphine would significantly slow contractions, allowing me to rest a little and regroup and see where things stood. So I got the morphine shot, slept at home all afternoon, and am now awake for a while before going back to sleep.
Still contracting, but much more irregularly now. I can tell the morphine really relaxed all my muscles, including the one that’s been working so hard with no progress for the past more-than-24-hours.
Now I am going to sleep again. I am so, so worn out and frustrated and confused by my body’s signals. The midwife says I could be back in active labor tonight, two days from now, or several weeks from now. They all seemed quite surprised by my failure to progress. I was in active labor when I arrived, and then they gave me pitocin. Basically, these days, they can induce a woman from scratch with pitocin, so it was really weird that I just made absolutely zero progress even with the med.
But this is where we are. I have to accept it. The good news is she is healthy and staying in a little longer, which is always better. And if we can wait just a few days longer, and she stays head down,.we’ll get the birth center birth we want, and H. J, and E will be here for their sister’s bith. The bad news is that it’s very hard and tiring to labor in vain for 24 hours, and be told you will be bringing a baby home, and go home without a baby.
Thanks for the well wishes from those who knew we had gone to the hospital. I am feeling very blessed by good people all around us. And by Jon.
