40s = depression? January 30, 2008
Apparently, people the world over grow somewhat depressed in their 40s:
“It happens to men and women, to single and married people, to rich and poor, and to those with and without children,” Oswald said. “Nobody knows why we see this consistency.
One possibility may be that people realize they won’t achieve many of their aspirations at middle age, the researchers said.
Another reason could be that after seeing their fellow middle-aged peers begin to die, people begin to value their own remaining years and embrace life once more, researchers speculated.
I wonder if it’s not so much depression as regret? If you get to 45 and really aren’t living the life you want to live, and see no way any longer to create the kind of life you want to live, that would lead to a lot of regret. And I think many, many, many people find themselves in this sort of “golden handcuffs” situation. Their current life is just good enough to prevent leaving, but too unsatisfying to really enjoy.
I am 43 and I think the 40’s are FABULOUS! My children are 13 and 16 which means I can have some independence back. I don’t care about many of the issues that may have bothered me in my 20-30’s, like I really could care less if someone likes me or thinks I look a certain way. It is a very “freeing” time for me. I love it!
I agree with your assessment of the ‘golden handcuffs’. Having worked for various government entities (ornl, UTK, State of TN, and now a municipal government) I see many people who are unhappy with their jobs but have too much time invested to leave. They end up miserable for entire decades of their lives, holding out until retirement.
I guess I could see it the same way as I work for the State too. But I have an “out” in that I started late and I would have to teach until I was ANCIENT to collect said retirement. I plan on leaving this profession when my 13 year old gets out of high school and embarking on a new career. I’m really excited at the thought of a new beginning in my 50’s.
I saw this story, over and over and over and over, as I tried to rest in various airports across the planet yesterday. Damned CNN.
I don’t get it, and I insist on some further research being done. I suffer from manic depression and I have found that things have gotten BETTER with age. I am 37.
And yes, in the US and elsewhere, simple unhappiness is now labeled as “depression,” doing a major disservice to those who legitimately do suffer from the illness.
Laura I could not agree with you more. Thanks for pointing this out.
The usage of the word depression is a clinical diagnosis and gets used incorrectly too often in the media and in casual conversation when the word used should be sad, unhappy, miserable, crabby, glum, sullen, dour, surly, and sulky.
i think this type of study ties into the marketing and selling of anti-depression meds!
Laura you are spot on!
I agree with all the comments that in some ways life in the 40’s gets easier and there is more confidence and experience. I also see the picture of having wanted a family of my own all my life and I just never had one. Boy friends yes, engaged once (he betrothed himself to someone else during the engagement), never got pregnant and never able to find the special circumstances to make the husband and family thing happen.
So I think there is regret. I know I feel I have missed out on so many joys and I have suffered more depression in my 40s for sure exactly because I have seen opportunities just slip away even as I have tried to bring those things to my life. I think that what Katie says is true for me. I do feel like time is running out.
All I know how to do at this point is eat correctly and exercise so I can buy myself more time to get these things into my life. Maybe late…but late is better than never?
And there is the problem of feeling like who ever reads this will think, well, if you wanted those things, you would have them.
So there is a lot of just sighing and just not letting yourself sink into all that and being content to hear about other people’s joys and then just finding something- a good book or sincere work- to get you through.
So, those of you who have whatever you have, myself included, just enjoy what you have and try to live in the present moment. Blah, Blah, Blah.
This was a study that compiled pre-existing research data. It’s to be released in a peer-reviewed scientific journal (Social Science & Medicine) and looks to be quite thorough and legitimate.
In our 30s I and those around me still had our youthful good looks and good bodies and also had acquired good jobs and nice houses. It seemed the best of all worlds. Of course, we barely realized it then.
In our 40s, our youthful looks were starting to go, but the kids sure were cute nd smart, our careers were going great, we were well-established and could get time off whenever we needed it and take long vacations, and our houses were becomeing well-furnished and even paid off.
At our house, in our 50s, the house is paid for, the cars are paid for, we have no debt, savings and investments are growing, our teenager does a lot of the grocery shopping and cooking, and my husband and I are doing more with our artistic work than ever. I have even taken early retirement from my former salaried position to work on mine all day long!