No weaning here July 19, 2008
The end of this week will mark one full year of breastfeeding Baby C. In total breastfeeding years, it marks my EIGHTH year of breastfeeding.
Yes, I have been breastfeeding one child or another for EIGHT YEARS.
It went down like this:
-Child #1 - Breastfed him for three weeks total. Didn’t know what the hell I was doing, plus everyone in my family (he was the first grandchild on both sides) was dying to give him a bottle of formula, which seemed like a swell idea to me at the time, since I was tired and confused and honestly, too young and stupid to be taking care of a baby all by myself anyway.
-Child #2 - This baby girl was born to breastfeed, and I was ready to give it another go. Armed with a whole lot more knowledge and confidence, and blessed with an infant who could have won the award for “World’s Most Enthusiastic and Talented Breastfeeder,” nursing was both a pleasure and breeze. As a domestically lazy someone who hates spending any more time in the kitchen than necessary, I discovered the joys of no bottles to wash and no formula to buy. No longer did I have to worry about packing toddler snacks for the park, or extra bottles for trips. I offered and she ate - anytime and any place. She weaned just before her 5th birthday.
-Child #3 - This one got off to a tricky start. He spent his first several weeks in the NICU, being fed through a tube into his nose, and an IV into his wee head. No bottles allowed, and no breastfeeding possible. Since I had been working from home for several years, I’d never had to use a breastpump before this, but while he was hospitalized, I was introduced to the horrors joys of the hospital-grade breastpump. Having grown up around dairy cattle, the noise of the pump alone took me back to my days hanging at the 4-H cattle barn at the Tennessee State Fair. I was thrilled when my baby son was able to leave the hospital, and happily shocked that he immediately took to breastfeeding with no problem (I’d been warned that bottles were inevitable for a baby leaving the NICU). And I was very, very happy to be leaving that great, mechanical, sucking beast of a pump behind. I hoped to never use one again. He went on to breastfeed until he was three, but he was never as attached to nursing as his big sister. He could sort of take it or leave it by early toddlerhood.
-Child #4 - Fast forward ten years. By this time, I figured I was a breastfeeding pro. I’d nursed several children, and written extensively on the subject. I’d helped other women breastfeed their own babies with both practical and emotional support. Surely, breastfeeding my newest bambino would be absolutely no problem, right? Wrong. When we brought her home from the hospital, she weighed less than 6 pounds. She was incredibly sleepy, and just wasn’t that interested in eating. I had to spend every moment possible with her newborn self snuggled up to my naked chest, trying to encourage her to please, of for the love of God, PLEASE, just take a few sips! Breastfeeding was a little dicey for the first 6 weeks or so, and then she suddenly got the hang of it.
Because this time - for the first time - I would be a breastfeeding mother returning to full time work at 8 weeks, I knew I had to start pumping. At about 4 weeks, I hauled out the Medela Pump-in-Style, and feeling notably UNstylish, I unhappily affixed it to my breasts. I flipped the switch, heard the painfully familiar sucking noise, and waited for the milk to begin flowing. And waited and waited and waited…
For six months, I dutifully tried to pump many times each 24 hour period, while working full time, breastfeeding the rest of the time, and caring for three other children. I tried ALL the tricks for getting to the milk to flow into those bottles, but I got less and less each week. Meanwhile, I had plenty of milk when I actually NURSED the baby, and amazingly, she demonstrated aboslutely no problem whatsoever taking bottles while I was at work, while still breastfeeding plenty well when she was with me.
Pumping never went well for me, and I hated every single second of it. This has given me greatly increased empathy for women for whom breastfeeding in general doesn’t go well. Of course, as someone who had already “failed” at breastfeeding once before (with Baby #1), I already got how that felt, but this added a new dimension to my understanding.
So here we are at the 12 month mark. Baby C. is actually nursing a lot more than she was 12 weeks ago (and doing this annoying popping on and off every few minutes and snacking thing that I am finding quite irritating. I keep explaining to her that my chest is not a fountain drink dispenser with free refills). I worried she would wean early because she does very occasionally actually prefer a bottle in lieu of breastfeeding. But that’s a fluke generally. It’s the real thing she wants, and I am generally happy to give it to her, although I haven’t found breastfeeding this time around to be as relaxing as in previous go-rounds. I think that’s because I have more people to look after, and it’s hard for me to sit still. But I still love it most of the time, and feel great about giving her - and me - all that breastfeeding has to offer, even though I now work full time. I feel a sense of accomplishment at making it to the one year mark, because there were times when I wasn’t sure I would.
I don’t know how long C. will choose to breastfeed, and should we decide to have another baby, I’m not sure how her continued nursing while I am working AND pregnant would go. We’ll just have to play it by ear.
And now the baby is stirring from her nap. I suspect she’ll want to eat, so I had better go make myself available 
Something you might want to consider is that YOU are in charge, not the toddler who will do just fine without beast milk at this age.
Reading your post inspired me to do my own math–I am currently at 12 years and 8 months of breastfeeding! My most recent baby was very, very difficult as well and I had to go through the wonderful world or pumping and also formula supplementation as her jaw is shaped in such a way that it was impossible for her to nurse effectively. I expected our nursing relationship to end early because of that but we stopped bottles at 8 months and now she is closer to 4 than 3 and still wants to nurse at least once a day.
I’m totally there with the popping off and on thing! The only thing that is worse is twiddling.
Something you might want to consider is that YOU are in charge, not the toddler who will do just fine without beast milk at this age.
Actually, breastmilk is very, very good for toddlers. Do some googling. And I see nursing as both nutrition, and part of my parenting RELATIONSHIP with my child, so while I drive the bus, so to speak, she gets a say, too.
I had to laugh at the dairy barn memory because I had a similar flashback to 4-H days when breastfeeding. I remember our dairy cows getting mastitis and was suprised when my lactation consultant told me that I had it. Prior to that, I’d only heard of mastitis in the context of cows and had no idea that people could get it as well.
Good for you and Baby C.! I had a similar experience with my second child - had to go back to work at 6 weeks and did not get a lot of milk while pumping at work. It was very stressful and I thought he would wean early. I quit working when he was 6 months and I was able to stop pumping. He ended up nursing for another two years, like his brother. I loved breastfeeding my babies/toddlers!
I hear you. I’m at 8 straight years, and one day I look forward to it stopping.
In the meantime it makes all of our lives easier, healthy little kids, good weight loss for me, and less trips to the kitchen!
Ugh, pumping is terrible. I had to pump for several weeks when Henry was a newborn because we had trouble with nursing at first, and the pumping was necessary to reestablish my diminishing milk supply. Needless to say, as soon as the lactation consultant gave me the OK to stop pumping, I stopped! I feel the same way about having to wash bottles and purchase formula — why do that if you don’t have to? I’m too lazy *not* to breastfeed.
The comment about you being a self-serve softdrink machine made me laugh out loud
I know this will sound snarky, but please don’t say the phrase “too young and stupid to be having a baby by myself anyways.” it sounds elitist and neglects the choice of young people to be parents.
I got plenty of misery from choosing to be a parent at age 19 (and I breastfed, because my immigrant Irish mother did for all of us)
There are lots of reasons women don’t breastfeed, but being a teen/younger mom is not one of them.
PS- I also now have a mental image of a bra with keg taps where the nipples would be. What a hit at the frat party THAT would be.
I’m not saying that anyone else is too young and stupid to be having a baby (in fact, I’ve written extensively on how teenage parents are unfairly discriminated against. See: http://www.katieallisongranju.com/2008/01/10/an-acceptable-and-particularly-mean-cultural-prejudice/ )
But I -referring to me personally - was definitely young and stupid….and I was a married 23 year old!!