katie allison granju

boys of summer July 4, 2008

E. and his 6 year old cousin, M. on our front porch

Patchouli plus rancid milk

I have tried really hard to keep my Honda minivan - now just over a year old - cleaner than my previous vehicles.

Jon helps alot, and I’ve been more careful about letting the kids eat/drink in the car.

But last week I broke my rule and let E. have a milkshake somewhere back in the back of the van. I told him to be sure to throw it away. Then I forgot about it…until the car began smelling of rancid milk.

I thought I got the offending smelly spot cleaned up, but last night H. told me that since it still sort of stunk, he would fix the problem by placing several drops of patchouli oil in the car. I agreed.

This morning my car smells like a foul brew of hippie sweat and curdled goat’s milk. The patchouli was a bad, bad idea. So learn from my mistake.

Our family motto, of late

“No, not for baby!”

What’s in a name? July 3, 2008

Adrienne blogged this week about her decision to keep her “maiden” (hilarious way we put that) name when she married. Of course, with a cool last name like “Martini,” who wouldn’t want to keep it?

I toyed with keeping my maiden name when I first married in 1990 (”Allison”), but my husband said he would really like it if I changed it, so I compromised, and legally changed it to “Allison-Granju”…for a time.

“Allison-Granju” became very unwieldy, plus once we had baby H. only 17 months after tying the knot, H’s last name wasn’t “Allison-Granju,” but “Granju.” So I eventually - some time between baby #1 and baby #2 - changed my last name to “Granju,” using “Allison” as a middle name when I write. I introduce myself in person as just plain old Katie Granju. My closest friends and fam call me Kate.

One bummer about this whole name changing thang was that my cool middle name - a family name - got totally lost in the shuffle. It’s “Brittain” - a lovely name. Now, however, baby C. has that as her middle name, so I like that.

Anyway, then I got divorced, but decided to keep Granju as my last name, mostly because I liked having the same last name as my children. As a smaller issue, I’d been writing and working under “Katie Allison Granju” for basically my entire adult life at that point, so I figured I had better not mess with that. Plus, I’d already changed my name twice, and I figured that no matter what happened going forward, I was just done with the whole name changing thing. I don’t really want to have a whole “name history” littering my past.

When I remarried, I sort of toyed with changing my name to Hickman, but it just felt right to remain who I was - who I’d been at that point for my entire adult life: Granju. Interestingly, Jon also came into our marriage with a name leftover from his first marriage. When he and his ex married, he took her maiden name as his new, legal middle name: Adair. And even though they broke up, he likes the name and doesn’t really feel like dealing with the hassle of another legal change, so he retains the name he took on via a woman he’s no longer married to.

In hindsight, I wish I’d just kept my name when I first married. That’s what I’ll enthusiastically suggest to my daughters should they ever tie the knot.

shoeless July 2, 2008

I have always wanted to make the rule that no shoes are to be worn in my house. I’ve tired off and on - with limited success - to insist that the children follow this rule. But I’ve always felt very uncomfortable suggesting that adults remove their shoes before coming in.

Do any of you have this rule? Why? How do you make it work? How does it work in practice?

what’s expected

I had a funny experence today.

I met someone for the first time at a meeting today - someone I’d heard a lot about over the years. She had also read some of my writing and heard about me from here and there, but we had never met in person.

At the mtg, I was wearing some black slingback pumps, and this black Prada knockoff shift dress just bought. No make-up. Still working toward my Gwyneth-Paltrow-in-the-move-Sliding-Doors-haircut hair.

After she and I had chatted for a whle, she told me I wasn’t at all what she expected.

“I thought you would have long hair and birkenstocks and be all sort of earthy crunchy and stuff.”

II laughed, and told her that after a brief flirtation with some birkenstock wearing in the early 90s, I now have a moral opposition to birkenstocks and crocs and anything resembling such shoes on my feet (go for it if you love them - they just aren’t for me). They make my feet look all….hobbit-ey.

I found t really funny that - at least to one person - I have a very different “written persona” than I actually am in person.

It was a fun meeting, actually.

VIDEO: the baby cousins

The baby cousins are really growing!

maybe he could battle tom selleck’s chest hair

I’m not much into cartoons, but here’s a concept I could get behind:

Primary Wave, the publisher that owns most of the Hall & Oates catalog is shopping around a cartoon called “J-Stache” in which John’s upper-lip hair is used as a weapon to fell such evil stache-wearing villains as Tom Selleck and David Crosby.

Currently digging…

Emergency Music: You’ll be the Death of Us All, Honey

Not only does this record shimmer and sizzle (excellent qualities for summer pop listening), you can download the whole dang thing FOR FREE.

A new definition of work-family balance July 1, 2008

He has her balanced - rather precariously - at work. But at least she’s sleeping!!!

Sleep? What’s that?

C. has been the best sleeper among my four children. She generally nurses quickly once or twice a night, rolls over and goes right back to sleep.

Suddenly, however, she is on a nurse-o-rama all night long. And occasionally she lets me know - I can just tell - that not only does she want to nurse 645 times, she also wants a bottle during the night.

This all started right after we returned from vacation (she slept great on vacation), at about the same time she suddenly started to crawl, and attempt to walk, and started saying her first two words clearly: “Bye” and “Cat.” She has a lot of developmental things going on all of a sudden.

One of the great things about having several older children is that I have perspective on stuff like this. With H., if he had been waking all night, I would have been (and was) incredibly frustrated and worried and anxious. With C., even after a hard week of low-quality sleepage like we’ve had, I am relaxed because I know that next month will be different, and this too shall pass.

a healthy bod

A good friend and I had a spirited disagreement the other day about how we each plan to/do talk to our daughters about staying healthy.

Each of us has struggled over the years with body issues; in my case, I had a serious eating disorder for much of my young adulthood, despite the fact that I was healthy, athletic, and never had a weight problem. There were a variety of reasons I developed this problem, but one of them was the way in which food and weight were discussed with me by the adult women in my life. Suffice it to say that it wasn’t the healthiest approach, although I know they meant well, and were products of the cultural messages they themselves received.

So I’ve been very conscious for her entire life of how I discuss this stuff with my now-8th grade daughter, and I continue thinking about it all the time. One thing that has changed recently in my conversations with her has been my willingness to gently and in appropriate (I think) ways, begin giving her some guidance on lifestyle & food choices that could make her become obese. Yes, I have begun discussing the dreaded F-A-T word with my - gasp - adolescent daughter. As so many of the kids and teenagers and young adults I see ARE obese, and as obesity has such serious health consequences - I have decided I have the same responsibility to help her avoid this unhealthy consequence as I do a responsibility to help her avoid an eating disorder or unhealthy body image.

It’s a fine line, figuring out how to guide her in this way, while never sounding judgmental or pushing her toward excessive worry about her weight. But I have decided that I do have a responsibility to let her know that if she were to choose - for example - to drink lots of sugary sodas, or gulp down lots of fatty Starbucks drinks or whatever, she is going to gain weight. And at a certain point, too much weight is unhealthy. Yes, I have let her know that just as anorexia would be unhealthy, so would obesity.

I know that others disagree with my choice to be explicit with my child about obesity in this way. Others will take a different approach with their own daughters, and won’t discuss the issue of “fat” or obesity with their girls in this context. I am realizing that I differ from more than a few of my mother-friends in our willingness to discuss in a forthright way what the weight consequences of what eating too much could be.

Some believe discussing obesity with a girl is too risky with regard to pushing her toward an eating disorder. I disagree, as long as the discussion is in the overall context of ongoing discussions about good health, and as long as the discussion isn’t had until the child is at least in middle school, and is beginning to be away from home (with friends at the mall, etc) and making more of her own food choices.

So what are your thoughts and experiences with this? How would you handle it/have you handled it? How have your own experiences shaped your views?

my man is superdad June 30, 2008

Yeah, he brings home the bacon, fries it up in the pan….

No, but seriously. Jon is, as I have often noted, one kick-ass father and stepfather. I mean, how many fathers take their babies TO THE OFFICE WITH THEM, just about every day? Well, he does.

Most days, he does have some help, in the form of his mama, my mother in law, who comes to the office to lend a much-needed hand with baby C. and her two year old cousin, who also comes to the family business with her mother, who works there. But this week, Jon’s parents are out of town all week, so Jon is running the office on his own without his father around, plus caring for C. at the same time, without any help from his mom. Plus, this all comes as C. has suddenly decided she is a wild creature who loves to crawl around, gnawing on the furniture, turning stuff over and refusing to sleep.

Superdad.

I think I need to come up with something extra nice to do for him this week.

attention design junkies…

…this cool thingy could clearly become totally addictive. Go check it out.

Lots going on this weekend June 28, 2008

The babyproofing is now well underway, with two gates installed, many outlet covers installed, and more on the horizon for tomorrow. Next up is bolting all tall bookcases to the walls.

I also decided to put some of the area rugs we have back down on the hardwood floors - plus I bought one new one - because baby C. needs more soft places to play and crawl. I had put them all away some time ago because one of our dogs (Mabel the pug) decided that she didn’t believe in housetraining at all. For several years, I’ve tried everything to get on track, but she basically acts as if any carpeted area or rug is a direct command to immediately relieve herself. She does way, way better with hardwood. But you know what? I like having some rugs. And now that we have the kichen gated off, she may just have to spend her indoor time in there (tile floor) because having a small, surly black pug make all the decisions as to how you can cover your floors in your entire house makes no sense.

Thankfully, Leo the superpup is doing GREAT with housetraining, as well as with just about everything else. Have I gushed enough about this puppy? He’s 4 months old now, and the most mellow, easygoing, well-behaved guy you can imagin. Here he is lounging under the coffee table.

I made many mistakes during Fiat and Mabel’s respective puppyhoods (they are 5 and 6 years old now) and I am not going to repeat them with Leo. We are being very vigilant and careful in how we are raising him. But he makes it easy. This is one awesome dog.

In addition to all the babyproofing going on, J. left today for two weeks of travel with her grandparents, and E. leaves tomorrow for two weeks at sleepaway camp in Noth Carolina - his first time. He’s very excited. His best friend is going as well (he’s been before and his dad grew up going to this particular camp), so that makes it even more fun. E’s father is taking him to camp and I will pick him up in 2 weeks. H. is spending some extra time with his father this summer, but I did see him briefly today, which was good. I miss him when he’s away, even when I know he is where he should be at the moment.

E. is suddenly rather obsessed with motorcycles - dirtbikes - about which I know nothing. Today we had a mother-son (plus baby sister) outing to go window shop motorcycles, but both the places we wanted to look were closed. So instead we had greasy fastfood together and chatted about camp. He’s a little worried about getting homseick, and I told him he probably will, but that he can handle it, and I will write almost every day.

C. has suddenly gotten much more toddlerish in the last two weeks. She’s crawling everywhere, babbling up a storm (and saying “bye bye” and sometimes, “cat”), and using her new walker toy thingy to toddle all over the place. She loves the thing. She had a playdate this morning with cousin N.C. and they had a grand time together. They get so excited when they see ach other. They screech and pat each other’s faces. Too cute. Sometimes they get in baby spats and slap at each other and pull hair (well, C pulls cousin’s haor, since she has way more of it than C does). Maternal intervention is often required in these matters of infant diplomatic relations.

Tonight we are eating on Market Square with my sister and my two nieces, then tomorrow night Jon and I are having a real date (leaving C with my sis) to go see Tom Waits. We are both really looking forward to it.